Intentional Cycle

My mother was ruthless, cruel,

even a bit unknowable.

I yearned for her,

just not in the blows

that delivered her touch.

She didn’t know another way,

and she never cared to weave a new pattern.

Expected Consequences

Drawn to the callous,

I ran into the arms of those who caused pain.

The typical abused child,

I became an adult

rotating in a cycle of abuse.

In my darkest moments,

I stood face to face with the wounded girl

who never grew up.

Frozen in pain.

Most of it was self-inflicted.

I didn’t know how to love myself.

Unpredicted Pattern 

Eventually, I understood: 

the only way out was to look within. 

So I held my own hand, touched my heart, 

and began the never-ending work- 

untwisting here, weaving there, 

until a new pattern begins to form. 

I want to evolve into kindness, compassion, empathy- 

and stay just a bit mysterious.